It has been a while since I wrote something in here. About a year in fact. I finished my first year in Uni and is almost through with the first term for my second year. This blog was initially about my travels, which I indeed did a lot in my first year in Uni, having visited about 40 cities in 9 months, in the midst of my studies. I did write some drafts about some of them but I deleted them all. I guess I shouldn’t have. Perhaps I’ll do some about my recent adventures soon.
Anyway, second year huh. I basically finished my first year without thinking too much about it. Studied practically 2 days before my exams and scraped a first class. *shrugs shoulders* But at the end of all that I felt empty. All that adventures and good times and decent grades should make me elated right? I should be gleaming with joy. For the first time in a long time, I started asking the question “Why?” What am I doing all these for? For a long time, I’ve always been a hedonist. I take life as it goes and couldn’t care less about anything else and I had been lucky enough to not face any major roadblocks. My first year was no different. But I just felt like, there has to be more than this.
And then in Summer, when I was back in Singapore, during one of the youth services, there was an altar call and Kenny prayed for me. I couldn’t hold back the tears. “God is calling you back,” he said. I made plenty of reflections over summer, and somewhat leading two cell groups too. This summer God opened up my eyes to His plans He has made for me. He wants me to lead others. The position I am in now, in many ways, has pointed to this. Being an officer in the navy, as my superiors have told me before, is perhaps not the best career for my personality. Almost got expelled but God’s grace has brought me through it. And against all odds I managed to come to London. But all that I still waste to fuel my earthly desire for simple happiness and joy.
Second year began and I started attending HTB. I immediately felt like I belong. The students ministry here is amazing and the people are lovely. Thanks Elis for recommending me to come here. I church-hopped quite a bit last year, but I felt that none really suited me. HTB gave me a lot of God-centric friends whom I now cherish so deeply. Last week we went on a weekend away to Norwich. That was the first time the Holy Spirit actually physically made his presence felt. My body got so hot. The fire is in me (Note the present tense).
Then students on Tuesday 2 after we came back. Emma talked about the lies that we might have been believing, that we’re not good enough. I stepped out. Isaac and Jem prayed for me. Isaac prayed for me. He said the exact same thing Ps. Teo prophesied for me last January. That I will be called to different nations. That if I don’t see anything now, He is just molding me. All I could hear from Jem was amen and his chewing gum.
I am still a work in progress. I don’t attend all lectures, reply all my messages, do the right things all the time etc. But still, what a beautiful time it is right now. With the fire in me, moving forward.
^ So that was a super brief summary of the last 6 months of my life. And to be honest, I am excited every single day of what is to come for the next.